


i know you've been drifting lately

by parkersmcu



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Gen, Medical Inaccuracies, Not Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Not Spider-Man: Far From Home Compliant, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Peter Parker is a Mess, Peter Parker says fuck!, Protective Peter Parker, Rated T for swearing, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, and because I said so!, everyone is alive cause fuck cannon!, its a fix-it, sorta?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-24
Updated: 2020-10-17
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:15:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26625787
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/parkersmcu/pseuds/parkersmcu
Summary: “I don’t want you here. I don’t want you helping me on missions or in fights. I don’t want you in my life at all, Tony. Can’t you get that through your head? This whole mentor thing between us? It’s done. Finished.”That was 9 months ago.Peter Parker and Tony Stark have barely spoken since.
Relationships: May Parker (Spider-Man) & Peter Parker, Michelle Jones/Peter Parker, Peter Parker & Avengers Team, Peter Parker & Morgan Stark (Marvel Cinematic Universe), Peter Parker & Natasha Romanov, Peter Parker & Pepper Potts, Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Comments: 40
Kudos: 124





	1. when everything you knew was wrong

**Author's Note:**

> for marwa, who always encourages me, listens to me rant, and is all around a great friend. i love you to the moon and saturn. 
> 
> this work is (loosely) based off of the movie "The Last Song" starring Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth. give it a watch if you want, or not, it doesn't really matter. 
> 
> title and chapter titles are from the song "I'm Here" by Sweet Talk Radio.

_ “Dude, really? How many times are you going to charge at me with that big-ass horn? Not cool, Alexei!”  _

_ Peter sighed and rubbed his head, knowing that the hit he was just given was going to leave him with a migraine to last for days.  _

_ He was currently in Brooklyn, fighting off Scorpion and Rhino, and to be completely honest, they were kicking his ass. The past few months post (second) Snap have been filled with trying to take down the Sinister Six, and it has begun to take a toll on him. Seriously, half the Universe was gone for five years, and to welcome everyone back, you want to wreak havoc on New York? After everything that the World has been through? What assholes.  _

_ Up until this moment, he had been fighting the villains 1-on-1. Those included Sandman, Electro, Kraven, and Mr. Negative. Now, though, Mac and Alexei have decided to tag team on Peter, which is, by the way, totally unfair.  _

_ “Suck it up, Spider! I will end you!” _

_ Of course. Typical villain talk.  _

_ Peter got up just as Gargan was about to hit him with his “stinger.” _

_ God, these people are weird.  _

_ In this moment, he was thankful for his sixth sense type, for he was able to get out of the way in time while also webbing stinger into the ground. He was in the middle of a sick combo, so close to knocking him out, when he heard (and felt) Rhino charging behind him. He jumped out of the way just in time to not get hit, but this gave Scorpion the perfect window to get un-webbed and regrouped.  _

_ Yes. Perfect. Just his luck.  _

_ “Peter, might I suggest calling for backup? There are some Avengers that are a ten minute flying distance away, and Mr. Stark is at the newly renovated Avengers Tower today also.”  _

_ Peter rolled his eyes. “No, Karen! Don’t call anyone, especially not Tony. I’ve got this.” _

_ He didn’t need any help. This was it, it was the last of the Sinister Six. He could do this. He didn't need  _ Tony or anyone _.  _

_ But damn, he might really be in over his head at the moment, even though there is no way he would admit that out loud. We wouldn’t mind Nat showing up right now. Heck, we would even be happy to see Sam and Bucky.  _

_ Before Peter even knew what was happening, he was lifted into the air and thrown into a nearby storage unit. His vision blurred, and he felt his whole body scream in pain.  _

_ Karen’s voice brought him out of his questionable mental state.“Peter, I am detecting contusions from the previous hit. You seem to have multiple broken ribs, a fractured wrist, and a concussion.”  _

_ “Yeah, no shit, Karen.”  _

_ Just as Rhino was about to deliver another hit, Peter heard a sound coming from behind him. Rhino was then blasted back. He knew that sound anywhere. It was repulsors.  _

_ Tony. _

_ Peter could feel the anger in himself at that very moment.  _

_ What the fuck was he doing here? Has he even been in a suit since the second Snap? Is this even safe? He wants to give him a mouthful right at this moment, but he honestly doesn’t have the energy. Plus, he knows that Pepper will reprimand Tony later for being so careless.  _

_ “Tony, what the hell? I’ve got this, get out of here!”  _

_ He could hear Tony scoff through the coms. “Yeah, sure looks like it. You web up Scorpion, and I’ll work on weakening Rhino. Then we can both take him when you finish up with Mac.”  _

_ Peter rolled his eyes, but decided that right now was not the time to argue. His body hurt like hell, and he knew that if he said anything to Tony right now, it would make the fight even worse.  _

_ ‘Kid, you hear me?”  _

_ Peter, a little too harshly, responded. “I got it, Tony. I’ll help you with Rhino when I’m done.”  _

_ Now he’s not only having to worry about 2 of these super-psychos, but also Tony. Could this day get any worse?  _

* * *

_ Turns out, it could.  _

_ Peter was sitting on a nearby rooftop after the fight ended. After Peter was able to take down Scorpion, he and Tony were able to take down Rhino together. Tony was down on the ground, talking with RAFT officials, which is where the last two of the Sinister Six will be joining the other four. He should be happy, right? He did it. He got rid of the Sinister Six. By himself. Well, almost by himself. If it wasn’t for--  _

_ “Kid?”  _

_ Peter didn’t answer as Tony came closer to sit by him on the edge of the building.  _

_ “You alright? Karen said you took quite a beating. Don’t worry though, Bruce can check you out back at the Tower. I think that you’ll be happy to know that those two will be joining the elite club in the RAFT--” _

_ “Why are you here, Tony? Was this really necessary?”  _

_ Tony looked taken back. He gestured to the scene down below and back to the two of them. “Pete, I was just trying to look out for you. Those two guys are tough. There’s no way I could have taken them by myself either.”  _

_ Peter stood up, Tony’s comment fueling him with anger. “I had it! Yes, I had been knocked down, but I had it under control. You shouldn’t even be here! Does Pepper know that you’re back in the suit? I thought you were done! Retired! You should be at home with your family right now, not risking your life!”  _

_ Tony stood up and removed his faceplate. He looked pissed.  _

_ “Are you kidding me right now, Pete? Look, I’m proud of you for taking down the rest of the Six, but you did not have that. I couldn’t just stand by and watch you take a beating! In that moment, it didn’t matter what Pepper thought about me getting back in the suit. I had to help you.”  _

_ Peter sighed and noticed the hurt in Tony’s eyes. He was already regretting the words that were about to come out of his mouth.  _

_ “Well guess what? I don’t fucking need you here, Tony. I don’t need your help. I don’t need you risking your life to help  _ me.  _ After everything that has happened--” He paused looking out at the city and back at Tony.  _

_ “I don’t want you here. I don’t want you helping me on missions or in fights. I don’t want you in my life at all, Tony. Can’t you get that through your head? This whole mentor thing between us? It’s done. Finished.”  _

_ Peter could see the tears shining in Tony’s eyes. He hated himself for what he was saying, but he couldn’t stop. It had to be done.  _

_ “It’s for the best.” His voice cracked on that last word, and before he could change his mind, he was swinging away. He didn’t give himself a moment to look back at Tony’s broken face on the rooftop.  _

What have I done? 

* * *

  
  


_ “Earth to Peter! You with us?” _

Peter was suddenly pulled out of his thoughts by MJ and Ned, who were sitting in front of him at some local diner in Queens. He tried to block out that terrible day that doesn't seem to want to leave his mind. 

That terrible day that was somehow  _ nine fucking months ago. _

A lot of things had changed since that day. Mainly, Tony and Peter’s relationship. Peter was civil with him when he had to be around him, which wasn't too often. He still wanted to be in Morgan’s life, so he made trips every few weeks up to the lake house. When he visits, he doesn't share more than a “hello” and “bye” to Tony. 

Peter knows that it’s wrong. He knows that it hurts not only Tony, but Pepper, Happy, May, and even the rest of the Avengers as well. The team tries to talk some sense into him constantly, mainly Natasha, who he has gotten considerably closer to over the past few months. After the whole fight with Tony, she kind of took him under his wing to make sure that he was still training. He has a slight hunch that Tony put her up to it so he could keep an eye on him. On the bright side, the Avengers really wanted Peter on the team. He has been going on quite a few missions with them, each one getting more difficult thus boosting Peter’s confidence every time he is successful with the team. He still has Karen in his suit, and although Pepper and Happy promise that Tony doesn’t snoop on him, he still doesn't believe them. 

So here he is, nine months later, having just  _ graduated high school.  _ God, it was crazy to think about. He should be looking forward to his future, but instead he’s just dreading it. 

“You good, dude?” Ned looked at Peter quizzically. 

Peter nodded. “Yeah man, sorry. Just stressed about having to pack all my stuff later tonight.” He shrugged, though it didn't seem like Ned and MJ bought it. 

Ned sighed. “Come on, Peter. We know what’s really going on. Maybe this summer won’t be as bad as you think. Maybe you can, uh, try to patch things up? I don’t know just an idea.” Ned laughed nervously, looking at MJ, who was giving a warning look, and back at Peter. 

Peter was sure that this summer was going to be one straight from hell. Why? Because May was shipping him off to the lake house for the whole summer to stay with Tony and the rest of the Stark’s. She has gotten this really awesome job opportunity for a nursing program in France that she just couldn't pass on. Even Happy was going with her because they are, like, a thing now? His life was just so weird. 

He was super proud of May when he found out. Ten minutes after he found out, though, he was slamming the door of his bedroom like a child because she told him that he would be spending the summer with Tony. At least Peter was promised multiple trips to the compound to continue training with Nat and the other team members. He doesn’t know how he would be able to survive the summer without that. 

Peter could easily stay in the city for the summer. He wants to stay in the city for the summer. It’s his last summer with Ned and MJ, and with MJ going to Harvard and Ned going to MIT, he needs to spend as much time with them as possible. Knowing that this trip was also a ploy for Tony and the rest of the team to talk him into going to college made Peter even more frustrated. A few months ago, Peter was accepted into MIT. His dream school for as long as he could remember. 

They all think that it’s such a shame that he isn't going, though. He just  _ can't. _ He’s  _ Spider-Man  _ for crying out loud. Who is going to protect New York if he leaves? He doesn't know if he trusts the rest of the Avengers to look after Queens if he were to leave. They don’t  _ know _ Queens like he does. 

There are other reasons he can’t go to MIT. He can’t bring himself to admit it out loud, so he’s sticking with the Spider-Man cover up. It’s the safest. And that’s what he needs in his life right now. Safety and security. 

Peter looked out the window for a few seconds and back at his friends. “I’m just really going to miss you guys.” 

The duo both looked at Peter with sad eyes. Ned was the first to speak up. “We promise to Facetime you whenever you want, right MJ?” Ned looked to his right for reassurance. 

MJ nodded. “Yeah, Pete. We will.” She paused, looking at Peter with purpose showing in her eyes. “Just… promise that you’ll at least try to make an effort? You know, be civil? If not for anyone but Pepper and Morgan. Okay?” MJ looked at him with pleading eyes. 

He could try. He knows he should try. And he doesn't want to be miserable all summer. He just has to be smart with how he goes about it because things can’t go back to how they were before. They just can’t. 

Peter nods. “Yeah, okay. I’ll try, MJ.” The smile that she gave back to him was worth it, as he noticed that both of his friends' faces seemed to light up. 

“You’ll be back in the city web-slinging in no time, dude. Just try to relax,” Ned said with a bit of over enthusiasm. 

_ Yeah _ , he thought.  _ In no time. _

* * *

  
  


Peter and May had been in the car for hours when he realized that his ass was numb from sitting so long. 

He had fallen asleep for most of the ride when May shook him awake, telling him that they were only 20 minutes away. Peter groaned, already anticipating what was to come, and May seemed to pick up on it. 

“Peter, baby, please don’t make this difficult, okay? They are all so excited to have you for the summer. And you still get to train with Nat at the facility and see the rest of the team.” She looked at him hopefully, but he just shrugged. “And… maybe this will give you time to really… think about your future. You know, about MIT.” 

_ Not this again. _

“May, I’ve made up my mind. New York needs me. They  _ need _ Spider-Man. I can’t abandon them like I am this summer.” Truthfully, New York isn't going to be  _ completely _ abandoned. Sam and Bucky promised to watch over Queens, which he thought was strange at first, but ultimately agreed to. He’s convinced that Nat put them up to it so he would stop complaining about spending the summer at Tony’s in regards to leaving Queens to fend for themselves, though she won’t admit it to him.

She sighed. “But what about  _ Peter _ ? You were Peter before you were Spider-Man. What does Peter want?” She looked over at him poignantly. 

_ “Peter  _ wants you to not worry about me and try to have fun this summer on your service trip. This is a huge deal, May, and I really am proud of you. I know that Ben would be too.” He smiled lightly at her. 

May reached over and grabbed Peter’s hand. “Promise me that you’ll try to have fun. Relax, hang out with Morgan, work in the lab, all that good stuff. Just be respectful to Tony, okay? I’m not trying to pressure you. Be civil. That’s all I ask.”

Peter chuckled. “Don’t worry, May. MJ and Ned already gave me the lecture last night. I’m going to be nice, I promise.” He turned forward, noticing that the lakehouse was coming into view. 

The idea of Tony living in a secluded area, in a cabin, on a  _ lake _ , was so baffling to Peter when he first came back from the Snap. It was something he would have never imagined Tony doing, but he knows that the Snap changed people. He knew Tony wanted, no,  _ needed _ to get out of the city. And Peter was happy for him. He had a workshop in the cabin, and it wouldn't be a Stark household without the FRIDAY being set up throughout the house. 

For a moment, Peter wished things were different. He wished he could spend more time here with Tony. He wished he could spend a day on the lake with him, or in the lab, or even lying in a fucking hammock like he knows Tony likes to do. But he can’t. It’s passed that point, he knows. He can’t undo what he did. The things he said. 

Before he can think even more depressing thoughts, his car door is slung open by the one and only Morgan Stark. The light of Peter’s life. 

She screamed, making Peter flinch. “Petey! You’re here!” Morgan jumped in his lap before he could say a word. 

“Mo! I missed you so much!” He let go of her, looking at her with the biggest smile. “Look at you! You’ve gotten so big! You’ll be taller than me in no time.” He winked at her, causing the young girl to chuckle. 

“Petey, it’s gonna take, like,  _ forever _ for me to be taller than you.” She rolled her eyes, and in that moment, Peter saw so much of Tony in her. 

Peter shrugged. “Hey, anything can happen. You wanna go head inside with me? It’s really hot in this car.” Morgan nodded excitedly as the two got out and headed up the stairs. 

“Wait till you see all the things I have planned for us to do! Daddy built me a treehouse, which we can play in all the time. We do all sorts of crafts every day too.”

Peter smiled as he opened the door, looking down at Morgan. “I can’t wait, Mo.” 

Once inside, he looked up to find May, Pepper, and Tony staring at the two of them. Pepper was the first to react, walking excitedly towards Peter. “Oh Peter! It’s so good to see you, sweetheart. We have missed you so much.” She engulfed him in a hug while smiling ear to ear. 

“Thank you for having me this summer, Pepper. It really means a lot.” He began to walk with her into the kitchen with Morgan still attached to his side.

Peter then looked at Tony straight in the eyes. He could just say hey. He could just nod his head at him, which would suffice as a greeting. But everyone was watching, and he promised he would be civil. 

So he did something really stupid. 

He stepped forward, giving Tony a hug. 

Peter could tell Tony was taken aback, as was everyone else in the room. He swore he could have felt the air leave everyone’s lungs. 

He patted Tony’s back, sighing. “Hey, Tony.” Pulling back, he saw the genuine happiness in Tony’s eyes, and  _ oh my god _ , he seriously looked like he was going to burst into tears. 

The worst part about it? 

Peter really missed Tony’s hugs. Like,  _ really _ missed them. 

For a split second, all his worries seemed to melt away. All the anxiety and fear and anger of the last nine months seemed to dissipate into nothingness. It was just the two of them, as they should be. Peter just felt  _ safe _ . He really, really missed this. 

He noticed the joy in everyone’s eyes as he pulled away, knowing that it just couldn't last. 

Peter let out an exaggerated sigh. “Well, uh, I’m going to go start unpacking, if that’s okay?” He looked at Pepper and Tony questiongly. 

Pepper was the first to speak up. “Of course, of course! I’ve got to finish preparing lunch anyway.” Pepper looked over at Tony, making a face at him that said “ _ speak up, come on _ ,” and it didn't go unnoticed by Peter. 

“Oh, yeah! I’ll, um, show you to your room. It’s right by Morgan’s, so I hope you don’t mind being woken up by her jumping on your bed every morning. She tends to do that, but I’ll try to keep it to a minimum.” The pair walked upstairs and made their way to Peter’s room, which he expected to just be a plain guest room. 

It was not just a plain guest room. 

The room was decked out in all things Peter. There were Star Wars posters on the wall, a New York Mets jersey framed by his desk, which is an obvious nod to Ben. There was even Spider-Man merch littered around the room as well. 

Peter stood back, shocked at the room, and turned to Tony. “You didn't have to do all this, you know. I know how busy both of you are with Morgan.” 

Tony fiddled with his hands, then looked up at Peter. “Oh, it wasn't… recent.” Tony walked across the room and sat on the bed, leaving Peter standing there confused out of his mind. 

Peter didn't say anything, hoping the silence was enough for Tony to keep talking. Tony sighed, continuing. “Morgan kept asking about you when she was round three. She-- she kept asking where her big brother was. That’s what we referred to you as, which you already know. One day, she said that we should make the guest room into your room for when you come back… so we did.” 

Peter was speechless. 

“Wait… you’ve had this decorated like this,  _ for me _ , before I even came back? You didn't even know if I was ever coming back-- I--.” Peter was truly speechless. 

Tony shrugged, and Peter could tell that he was trying to not make a big deal out of it. “A lot of it was for Morgan. But I found it really therapeutic, too. I would come in here and talk to you, as weird as it sounds--”

“It’s not. It’s not weird.” He paused. “I still talk to Ben at his grave. And you didn't really… have a grave for me… so, I get it.” 

Tony nodded, looking around the room. “Well, I hope you like it. We can add whatever you want into it. Just as long as it feels like a home.” He stood up, heading towards the doorway, stopping to turn around. 

He smiled at Peter with a light in his eyes that Peter had not seen in months.

“I was thinking that we could head down to the workshop? Hash things out down there, terrorize DUM-E, you know, all that good stuff. Just like old times.” 

No.  _ No. _

God, he wanted to. He really fucking wanted to. He wanted to stay up till 3 am working with Tony on whatever project that they could both get their hands on. He wanted to end the night falling asleep on Tony’s shoulder while watching Brooklyn 99 reruns. He wanted  _ normalcy.  _

But he can’t have it. 

Peter turned around, facing the bed. He couldn't bear to look at Tony, couldn't bear to see the hurt that he was about to cause. 

“No, Tony. Just go.” 

Tony sighed, and Peter turned around, not being able to stand having his back turned around at Tony. He looked…  _ angry.  _

“Really, Pete? We’re doing this again?” Tony ran his hands through his hair, looking back at Peter. “Come on, bud. Please talk to me. Tell me what I did wrong, tell me what to do to make you not hate me--”

_ I don't hate you _ , he thought.  _ Just the opposite.  _

“--But please, work with me here. I miss you, Peter. I just want things to go back to the way they were.” He sighed, looking at Peter with glistening eyes. 

_ You have no idea how much I want that, too, _ he thought.  _ You have no idea how badly I just want to hug you, to ask for your advice, to laugh with you. But I can’t.  _

Peter looked at Tony dead in the eyes, feeling like he did the day on the rooftop after the fight with Rhino and Scorpion. 

“Things can’t go back to the way they were, okay? Get that through your head. I hate to break it to you, but a hug or a decorated bedroom won’t change things. I have to unpack and call Nat. Just go, Tony.” Peter turned back around, walking towards his suitcases, hoping that Tony would get the memo and leave. 

Tony stood there for a moment, unmoving. Peter could hear his heartbeat, fast and off rhythm. Then, he heard him speak up. 

“Okay, bud. Just know that I’m here, always. And I love you no matter what.” 

With that, he left the room, leaving Peter alone with his thoughts of self-hatred and regret. 

Closing the door, he began unpacking, shedding silent tears while doing so. 

_ I love you, too. I’m so sorry.  _

With that, he continued unpacking, dreading all that this summer would bring. 

  
  



	2. it's like you're an island and i've got no boat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Peter hugged him in the kitchen, he thought this is it. This is where things change. Do I finally have my kid back?
> 
> All that went down the drain when Peter told him to get out of his bedroom ten minutes later. 
> 
> God, did that hurt like a bitch. They had just had this wonderful talk, a true moment shared between them. And just like that, like a flip was switched, Peter seemed to be done with him. 
> 
> It just doesn't seem like the Peter he knows. 
> 
> The Peter he knows is the most loving and caring soul that a person will ever encounter in their lifetime. There isn't anyone that treats people with more kindness than him. And he knows that he still acts that way towards people. He sees how Peter acts with Morgan or May or Nat or hell, even Sam and Bucky. 
> 
> That Peter just doesn't exist to Tony anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we finally get to see tony's pov!!! wooooo!!!! a little shorter chapter. not beta read. enjoy <3

Tony had to admit that seeing Peter for the first time, truly, since everything that went down on the rooftop was… interesting. 

He was a nervous wreck for weeks before Peter showed up at the lakehouse. In fact, he was hesitant to even give the “OK” for him to stay with him for the summer. Pepper, May, and Nat all had to push him into it, telling him that it was the right thing to do. He knew it was necessary, knew that he needed to spend as much time with Peter as he could. But he felt weak for not wanting Peter to come. 

Tony was just so _ tired.  _

The months following the rooftop incident were filled with so much anger, hurt, and frustration. For months, he tried to reach out. Many weekends were spent riding up to the compound to talk to Peter, but the kid just wouldn’t budge. He even made the stupid decision to show up at the Parker residence one night which was… not smart on his part. At all. 

God, what he would give to go back to how things were before. Oftentimes, he thinks about how much he took for granted. Thinking back on the countless lab days, the movie marathons, even the days he would pick up Peter from school made him feel like his heart would physically break. What he would give to be sitting beside Peter in the lab, listening to another corny science joke that’s not actually funny but that Tony makes sure he laughs at anyway for Peter. 

He just really missed  _ his kid. _

When Peter hugged him in the kitchen, he thought  _ this is it. This is where things change. Do I finally have my kid back? _

All that went down the drain when Peter told him to get out of his bedroom ten minutes later. 

God, did that hurt like a bitch. They had just had this wonderful talk, a true moment shared between them. And just like that, like a flip was switched, Peter seemed to be done with him. 

It just doesn't seem like the Peter he knows. 

The Peter he knows is the most loving and caring soul that a person will ever encounter in their lifetime. There isn't anyone that treats people with more kindness than him. And he  _ knows _ that he still acts that way towards people. He sees how Peter acts with Morgan or May or Nat or hell, even Sam and Bucky. 

That Peter just doesn't exist to Tony anymore. 

“You’re sulking.” 

Tony turned around, Pepper’s voice pulling him out of his  _ very _ depressing thoughts. The pair were currently cleaning the kitchen after dinner, Peter and Morgan having already headed to bed. Dinner honestly wasn't a complete disaster. Peter talked plenty to Morgan and Pepper, and Tony really didn’t want to start anything between the two, so he just kept his mouth shut. 

Tony sighed. “You know, I was going to argue with you and try to say that I’m not, but there’s no use.” That earned a laugh out of Pepper, which quickly turned serious again. 

“It’s Peter, isn't it?” Tony nodded, looking at the ground.

His voice was almost at a whisper. “I don’t know what to do, Pep. I think I just need to accept that it’s a lost cause.” He paused, taking a deep breath to try and keep himself from crying. “I truly think it’s done.” 

Pepper shook her head, grabbing Tony’s hand. “No. You can’t give up that easily, okay? You have all summer. We’re gonna figure this out, together. I promise.” 

Tony stayed quiet for a moment, deciding to sit down at the table and put his head in his hands. 

“I just feel like it’s going to be too late. When we make up. If we make up.” 

Pepper looked at him with sad eyes and took a seat beside him, pulling him into a hug. “We’ll get through to him in time, Tony. I’m sure.” He stayed silent, not sure what to say next. 

Pepper pulled back, taking his hands in hers once again. “Why don’t you try to do something with him tomorrow? Something that you know he will enjoy.” 

Shaking his head, Tony sighed. “He’s not going to want to do anything with me, Pep. He made that very clear.” 

Pepper paused, and it seemed like a light went off in her head. “Well, do something you  _ know _ he can’t pass up. He was promised time at the Compound to train, right? You know he won’t be able to say no to that, and even though he won’t be training with you, you’ll still have him trapped in a car with you for hours, as bad as that sounds.” Tony chuckled at that. 

“I guess it’s worth a shot.” Tony shrugged, standing up and walking into the living room. 

“It will be, Tony. Make sure that the time you spend with him tomorrow counts. I know you can get through to him.” He nodded, and with that, the pair headed upstairs to try to sleep. 

As Tony fell asleep that night, he prayed to God,  _ any _ God, that tomorrow would somehow be a new start for him and Peter. 

He didn’t know that Peter was falling asleep praying that things could somehow change between the pair, too. 

  
  


* * *

  
  
  


The next morning while eating breakfast, Tony told Peter to get his suit together because they would be heading to the compound after they finished with their meal. To say that Tony’s heart didn’t soar when he saw the look on the kid’s face when he told him would be a flat out lie. Peter had almost choked on his food, trying to scarf it down as quickly as possible. 

_ “Thank you, thank you, Tony _ ,” Peter had said as he got up from the table and rushed back upstairs to gather his things. For a moment, he saw _ his _ Peter again. He couldn't help but smile as Pepper winked at Tony, thus proving the point that Pepper is right about everything. 

The car ride to the compound wasn't great, but it also could have been way worse. Tony didn't want to push him too hard into talking to him. He wanted the kid to come to him first. Peter did speak up a few times, asking who was all at the compound, how long they would be staying, and what they would be having for lunch. All in all, Tony would call the car ride a success. He knows that Peter’s mood was due to him being excited about training with the team, but just for a moment, he imagined that it was just like old times. 

When arriving at the compound, Tony barely had enough time to park the car before Peter was trying to open the door. 

Tony chuckled. “Easy there, kid. The compound isn't going anywhere.” 

Peter continued to gather his stuff, yelling over his shoulder while running inside, “I wanna spar with Bucky before Sam tries to!” And with that, he was gone to change into his suit. 

Walking into the compound was… weird for Tony. Everything had been repaired from the battle, and it was even nicer than before. In a way, it felt weird walking around without technically being the boss. Now, that job was reserved mainly for Natasha but sometimes Steve. Truthfully, he was glad that it was them. There wasn't anyone else that he trusted more to look after the team, specifically Peter. 

When he finally made it to the training area, he could see that Bucky, Sam, Wanda, and Peter were all out on the floor. Steve seemed to be working them through some kind of exercise while they stretched, and Natasha stood to the side, watching quietly. It was then when Nat noticed Tony, taking her attention away from those training and headed towards him. 

She smirked. “Hey, old man. Haven't seen you around in a while. How’s retirement treating you?” 

Tony scoffed. “I’m not that  _ old.  _ Not as old as Capsicle over there.” He shrugged, continuing. “It’s boring at times, but it’s nice.” He decided to leave it at that. 

Natasha nodded. “It’s well deserved, you know. I’m happy for you.” Tony nodded, looking at the ground and then back up, his eyes landing on Peter. The kid was smiling, laughing at something Wanda said while the two seemed to be playing “rock, paper, scissors.” 

He sighed. “Yeah, well. It’s almost perfect.” 

Natasha caught on to what Tony was implying. She caught his eyes, and her demeanor changed from playful to serious. “Want to head to the kitchen while these few rough it out? We can catch up on some important stuff.” 

Tony nodded, taking one last look at Peter before heading out the door and towards the common area. The pair were silent for their walk, Tony beginning to become stressed as to what the two would have to talk about next. What they  _ needed _ to talk about. 

They took their seats at the barstools, both having grabbed a drink before sitting down. Tony spoke up. “FRIDAY, be a dear and let me know if anyone approaches and is in the vicinity to hear us. Especially our super-hearing spider-child.” 

“Of course, boss,” The AI responded. 

Natasha rolled her eyes. “He’s not a child, Tony. He’s about to be in college. Well, not really, but you know what I mean.” 

Tony let out an annoyed sigh. “Yeah, I know what you mean.” 

“You haven't gotten anywhere with him about MIT?” 

Tony laughed. “You think he would talk to  _ me _ , of all people about MIT? No. I know that May has talked to him, but he’s still set on Spider-Man. I think it’s a lost cause.” 

Natasha smiled. “We’ve still got time. You never know what could change in a few months.” Tony didn’t respond, instead wallowing in his self pity. 

“I know I said I wouldn't snoop or pry, but how have his patrols been going? No serious injuries? No new big bads to worry about?”

“Tony, it’s not prying when you care about him. I mean, I’m not gonna sell him out and tell you personal things he says to me, but we can talk about his patrols. I know that you can check with Karen if you want, and the fact that you aren't says a lot about your maturity.” 

“I just don’t want to slip up and accidently reference something that happened while he was out. I just know that it would be a recipe for disaster.” Tony put his head in his hands at that comment. 

“Oh, you’re one hundred percent right. You would never hear the end of it.” She laughed, continuing. “He hasn't had any major slip ups or anything. Queens have been taken care of, and he’s been great on Avengers related missions. A few months back, he saved Bucky’s ass using that sixth sense thing that he has. Sam wouldn't let Bucky hear the end of it for  _ weeks. _ ” She paused, looking Tony in the eyes. “You should be really proud of him. He’s matured a lot since you picked him up at that Queens apartment all those years ago. And a lot of that has to do with you, you know.” 

Tony scoffed. “I don’t see how, considering he has barely spoken to me in months, and even before the blow up on the rooftop, it was touch and go.” 

Natasha shook her head. “Tony, you would not believe how much we see you in Peter when he’s out there fighting. I swear, it’s like watching a mini you. Just a more composed you, I guess.” They both laughed at that. 

“Don’t tell anyone I told you this, but once on a mission, Peter didn't know that his com was still on. It was only me, him, and Bucky, but still. I could tell he was talking to himself, and he was trying to work out how to diffuse a particular situation with hostages. For a moment, he took a breath, and followed it with “Okay, what would Tony do?” 

“You’re lying,” Tony deadpanned. 

“Tony, why would I lie about that?”  _ Well, she’s got a point _ , he thought. 

“He still cares about you. He still follows your lead, even when you’re not here. You’re still his mentor, Tony. Don’t forget that.” 

He nods, taking a moment to compose his thoughts, but Natasha didn't give him a chance to. 

“You know what I want to ask about next.” Natasha was nothing if not straightforward. 

Tony let out a sad sigh. “Yeah, I know.” 

Her voice softened. “Any progress with the research?” 

Tony shook his head. He couldn’t bring himself to say the words. And he wouldn't dare let himself cry in front of Nat, even though he knew that she would excuse it for these circumstances. Pulling himself together, he looked at Natasha. 

“I have to get through to him, Nat.  _ I have to. _ ”

“ _ And you will. _ I’m having a private training session with him today before you both head back to the cabin. I’ll see what I can do.” 

Tony nodded gratefully. “Thank you Nat, really. And thank you for always looking out for him. You have no idea what it means to me.” 

She smiled, squeezing Tony’s hand. “Just looking out for my fellow spider.” She winked, leaving the room with Tony sitting alone at the bar. 

_ Please let this work. Please let this work.  _

  
  


* * *

Tony knew immediately when Peter got in the car to go home that something was wrong. He could feel the  _ tension _ in the air. Tony tried to get some answers out of him when asking about his training, but they were just met with “yes” or “no.” 

About ten minutes away from home, Tony had enough. 

“Alright, out with it. What’s got your underoos in a twist?” 

Peter let out the most dramatic sigh known to man. 

“Words would help you know. I can’t read angsty teenage sighs, as much as I wish I could.” 

Peter scoffed. “I don’t know, Tony. Why don’t you ask Nat?” 

_ Oh, here we go.  _

“Pete-”

“No, Tony. I know you put her up to something. I saw both of you walk out of the training room, probably to just gossip about me.”

“That’s not true-”

“She was being all weird and vague when talking to me while I was training. I don’t know what you told her to talk to me about, but it didn't work, okay? It just got me even more pissed off.” Peter pulled his knees up to his chest, turning his head to look out the window. 

Tony waited a moment to speak. He was so tired of the fighting, of the attitude, but he couldn't let it result in anger. He wasn't Howard. 

As they pulled into the driveway, Tony spoke. “I’m sorry, bud. I just miss the way we were before. That’s all.” 

For a moment Peter hesitated. It almost seemed like he wanted to say more. Maybe Tony was crazy, but he could have sworn that he saw a tear in Peter’s eyes. Then, as soon as it appeared, Peter’s strong demeanor was back. 

“I’m sorry, Tony. It’s better this way.” Peter opened his car door, heading inside as Tony watched him go up the steps. 

Sitting there for a moment while taking a breath, Tony laid his head on the steering wheel, wishing more than anything to have his kid back. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so happy about the response for the first chapter. y'all have no idea, this story is literally my child, lol. sadly, this is only the beginning for Tony and Peter.... guess you'll have to wait and see :) please let me know what you think and come interact with me on my Tumblr!! crimefightingironspider :) please stay safe and healthy!! comments and kudos are always appreciated.


	3. when every step's a step uphill

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You okay over there, Pete? I can practically hear your thoughts from here.” 
> 
> Peter sighed. “That obvious, huh?” 
> 
> Smiling, Pepper nodded. “I’ve had some practice over the years.” She paused, looking at him intently. “What’s up, Peter? You know you can talk to me about anything, right?” 
> 
> At that moment, Peter just wanted to break down. He wanted to cry over the past few months, how fucked up all of this has been, how fucked up he has been. He felt his eyes start to water at Pepper’s kind words, realizing all the pain that he not only made Tony go through, but everyone go through. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for the long wait!! not beta read, please excuse any mistakes <3

_“Mr. Stark?”_

_Please. Please no._

_“Hey, Mr. Stark.”_

_Is he looking at me? Is there even light left in his eyes?_

_“Can you hear me? It’s Peter.”_

_It’s me, Mr. Stark. It’s your kid._

_“We won, Mr. Stark.”_

_Did we?_

_“We won, Mr. Stark.”_

_At what cost?_

_“We won, You did it, sir.”_

_Why did it have to be you?_

_“I’m sorry, Tony.”_

_I’ll never forgive myself._

_Time blurs._

_Pepper whispers, “We’re gonna be okay.”_

_No, we aren't. How is any of this okay?_

_“You can rest now.”_

_Peter takes a breath._

_Tony counters with his last._

_And the arc reactor light goes out._

* * *

  
  


Peter wakes up in a cold sweat, feeling like he can’t breathe. 

_God, that fucking dream._

Except it wasn't a dream. It was real, up until the arc reactor turning off. They all assumed he was gone in that moment. Except, he wasn't. 

The arc reactor never turned off. 

Strange was the first to leap into action, opening a portal and taking Tony and Pepper through. Carol was next, heading back up to space to try to find something powerful enough to save him. Peter just stood there, unmoving, accepting the fact that Tony was gone. There wasn't any way he was going to live. Why?

Because everyone that Peter cares about dies in the end. 

It was then that someone on the team, was it Sam? Maybe Wanda? Pulled him out of his thoughts and took him to get checked on. Peter didn't care about _his_ injuries. All he wanted was for Tony to be okay.

And he was. Eventually, anyway. He woke up 3 days later, acting like his normal self, not like he had just saved the universe or anything. 

Their second reunion was bittersweet. Even more hugging and crying, and Peter swore he would never see the day where Tony Stark was as emotional as he was that day. He guessed that those five years truly did change him. 

Peter knew what he had to do a few weeks later when he couldnt stop having that same fucking nightmare over and over again. Part of it was selfish, honestly. He knows that. God, does he know it. 

He takes a breath and stands, deciding that he has got to get out of his bedroom at the cabin.

When he heads down the stairs and into the kitchen, he doesn't expect to see Pepper sitting on the sofa at 3 a.m. 

She looks up, her eyes filled with worry. “Peter? It’s late, what are you doing up? Are you okay?” 

Peter chuckles. “I’m fine, Pepper. Just woke up and couldn't go back to sleep. What are _you_ doing down here this late, though?” 

“Tony’s snoring is driving me crazy, though he swears that he doesn't snore. I’ve got plenty of evidence from FRIDAY to prove him wrong though, and I can’t wait to hit him with it one day.” 

Peter laughed softly, deciding to sit beside Pepper on the sofa with his water bottle that he had gotten out of the fridge in hand. They sat in comfortable silence for a while, Pepper focusing on her book that she had opened on her lap. Then, she decided to break the silence. 

“You okay over there, Pete? I can practically hear your thoughts from here.” 

Peter sighed. “That obvious, huh?” 

Smiling, Pepper nodded. “I’ve had some practice over the years.” She paused, looking at him intently. “What’s up, Peter? You know you can talk to me about anything, right?” 

At that moment, Peter just wanted to break down. He wanted to cry over the past few months, how fucked up all of this has been, how fucked up _he_ has been. He felt his eyes start to water at Pepper’s kind words, realizing all the pain that he not only made Tony go through, but _everyone_ go through. 

“I’m so sorry, Pepper.” His voice cracked, and he knew there was no stopping the tears from flowing down his cheeks. 

Pepper grabbed his hand worriedly. “Peter. What do you have to be sorry for?” 

He took a breath, trying to compose himself enough to say what he wanted to say, _needed_ to say. 

“ _Everything_. I know I’ve put not only Tony through hell these last several months, but you as well. I can’t get into how I feel or why I’m acting the way I am-- I’ve just been so shitty to all of you, and it’s not fair to you or Morgan and even Tony-- I just-- I’m so sorry.” 

It took a moment for him to compose himself, his tears catching him off guard. God, he couldn't believe that he had broken down like this, in front of _Pepper Potts_ , the most badass woman like, ever. Pepper took his hand again, giving it a reassuring squeeze, looking him in the eyes with purpose. She then broke the silence that was filled with Peter’s sniffles moments before. 

“Can I be honest with you, Peter?” He nodded, knowing that any words that came out of his mouth would result in even more tears. 

“You don’t have to explain yourself to me. I know coming back from the snap had to be the hardest thing. I know that final battle, those moments when we didn't know if Tony would make it-- you should have _never_ had to go through that, especially at your age. But I know that you’re smart, one of the smartest people that I know, actually.” Peter laughed at that. “So I know that this thing that you’re doing with Tony… There’s a reason. Like, a good reason. And you don’t have to tell me right now, or _ever._ I just want you to know that we all love you so much. More than you’ll ever know. Morgan absolutely _adores_ you, and you know that.” 

Peter nodded, his voice small, “I just don’t want you to think that I don’t love you all, because I do. So much.” At that, a few tears managed to escape once again, and Pepper was quick to wipe them away. 

“Oh, Peter. We know that. Tony knows that. He would do anything for you at the drop of a hat, no questions asked.” 

That made Peter cry even harder. He sighed. “Yeah, I know.” 

“When you’re ready to talk about what’s bothering you, I’m here. If not me, there’s always Natasha or May or even Sam and Bucky. I know those last two love to tease you, but they’re here for you. You have a lot of people in your corner, Peter. Don’t forget that.” 

Peter smiled. “Thank you for everything, Pepper.” 

“No need to thank me, Peter. This is what I’m here for. Now, you need to try to sleep. I certain little miss is going to want you up to play tomorrow and she won't be happy if you’re walking around like a zombie. 

Peter laughed at that, standing up from his seat on the couch. “Only if you agree to try to sleep too.” 

She scoffed. “Yeah, tell that to Tony’s snoring. I’ll see you in the morning, Peter.” 

Peter smiled, thanking her again, and headed up the stairs back to his room. He climbed back in bed, feeling just a little more at peace, and prayed for the nightmares to stay away long enough to get a good night’s rest. 

  
  


* * *

  
  


The next few days were relatively uneventful. 

It rained for two days, which made for a busy two days of blanket forts and Disney movie marathons with Morgan, which he obviously didn't mind. 

Things felt a lot better after his talk with Pepper. He felt a lot… lighter, if he had to describe it in one word. Tony and Peter were fine, acting civil in front of Pepper and Morgan as usual. 

Peter had noticed that Tony had been spending a lot of time in his lab, though. Like, way more time than usually. He didn't want to admit it, but he was curious to see what he was working on. Plus, Peter actually did need to work in the lab. He wanted to make some changes to his webshooters, and Tony was the only one that could help with that, obviously. 

So that’s how he found himself walking into Tony’s lab one afternoon while Tony was down there also. 

“Uh, hey, Tony,” Peter said awkwardly. Tony jumped a little, obviously startled to see Peter in the lab. Peter noticed how quick Peter was to put away what he had been working on, putting his full attention on Peter for the time being. 

“What’s up, Pete?” Peter could tell that Tony was happy to see him down here, and for the time being, it was the least Peter could do for him after treating him so badly during the last few months. 

“Uh, are you busy? I wanted to try something new with the webshooters and their combinations, but if you’ve got other stuff going on--” 

“No! I mean-- no, I’m not busy. Just tinkering. Let’s take a look.” 

The time passed quickly while in the lab with Tony. The next thing he knew, it had been _three hours._ It was like the past several months had just been erased, and the pair fell back into their groove of working together. They laughed together, brainstormed together, and actually talked to each other. Peter knew he should stop it, knew he should give him the cold shoulder, but he just couldn't bring himself to. 

That was, until Tony decided to bring up MIT. 

“So, care to talk to me about MIT?” 

There it was. 

“No.” 

“You’re throwing away your future.” 

Peter scoffed. “Yeah, right.” 

Tony sighed. “Seriously, Pete. What’s the deal? You’re so smart, and you've worked so hard. Spider-man will be waiting for you when you get back. You deserve a break.” 

Peter stayed silent, trying so hard to not let his anger get the best of him. Tony continued. 

“We’ll have people look after Queens, Pete. You can trust Sam and Bucky. And you’ll still be able to patrol during holidays and all. Heck, if you’re so worried about Queen’s, I’ll even check up on it from time to time--” 

Peter snapped. 

“I said no, Tony! _God_ , can’t you get that? I don’t need MIT, okay? What I _need_ is to protect Queens. It’s my responsibility, not Sam or Bucky’s and definitely not _yours_ \--” 

“Okay, Pete, I get that. But there’s so much more to life than Spider-man, than saving people. You have to get that through your head. You can make a difference without being Spider-man. Peter Parker can do some great things too, and that’s what MIT is there for--” 

Peter slammed his hand down on the table, causing Tony to pause. 

“I’m not going to MIT. I don’t need to go somewhere that will keep me from helping people that need me, and I’m certainly not going somewhere that’s tied to _you._ ” 

That last word was filled with so much malice, so much hate, that Peter could hardly believe himself. 

Before Tony could say anything, and before Peter could see the hurt in his mentor’s eyes, he stormed out of the lab, once again regretting everything said to the person that means the most to him. 

* * *

  
  


Peter spent the rest of the night in his room, completely ashamed of how he had talked to Tony. Pepper seemed to pick up on his mood, as she didn’t pressure him into coming down for dinner, instead bringing it up to him. 

When will he finally be able to get it right? The day in the lab spent with Tony had been the best that he had in months, and of course Peter had to ruin it in a shouting match that he’s sure Morgan and Pepper probably heard. It seemed to him that every time he took one step forward, he always ended up taking five steps back also, but somehow he managed to take everyone with him. 

He needed to talk to someone, and he had the perfect person in mind. 

Thirty minutes later, he found himself laughing on FaceTime with MJ, but still failing at trying to forget the day’s events. MJ, being the observant person that she is, noticed. 

“What’s got you down, Parker? I can tell something’s up.” 

He sighed. “Just some stuff happened with Tony today.” He left it at that, hoping that she would get the hint and drop it. 

She didn't, obviously. 

“Well, what happened?” She questioned. 

Peter groaned, knowing he wasn't going to get out of it. “He asked me about MIT and talked about how I needed a break from Spidey. You know, the whole monologue about how my future is important and that it’s not all about Spider-man.”

“Okay. What did you say back?” 

“I kinda… snapped.” 

Now it was MJ’s turn to groan. “Peter!” 

“What? I’m sorry, but he started talking about _him_ checking up on Queens while I’m gone, and I just can’t-- He can’t do that, okay?” 

MJ was silent for responding. “He’s right, you know.” 

_“Oh, not you, too.”_

Her voice was becoming more stern. “MIT is a huge opportunity. You’ve dreamed about it for years, and you're throwing it away. You know that, right?” She said matter-of-factly. 

Peter sighed. “Yeah, I know. Sometimes he just crosses the line and I can’t stop myself from yelling at him.” He shrugged and was met with a long moment of silence. 

“Can I be honest with you?” 

Peter sat up straighter. “Always.” 

“You need to stop being such an asshole.” 

_“What?”_

“You heard me, Peter.” 

Peter was floored, _no, speechless._ MJ has been stern with him many times, but never like this. When he had no response, MJ broke the silence. 

“Pete… I know we don’t talk a lot about feelings or like… the deep stuff. But you don’t realize how lucky you are. Don’t you get that?” 

Peter shook his head. “What do you mean?” 

“I know I’ve never really talked about this with you or Ned, but you probably know that my dad is a piece of shit. Literally, he’s the worst. He cares more about the vodka in the fridge than he does me. And then I look at you and Tony, and God, Pete-- I get so jealous sometimes. That man would do anything for you.” 

_Yeah, I know. Like inventing time travel and almost killing himself to bring me back. Trust me, I know._

She continued. “You just don’t know how lucky you are, Peter. To have someone like that.” 

“Someone like what?” 

She shrugged. “Someone who loves you. Someone who cares.” She paused, looking at him intently once more. “I don’t know what you’re going through or what you went through with the Snap. I know it was bad, and I know that people have changed in that time. But Peter, that doesn't give you an excuse to act this way towards the man that would do anything for you. You’ve got to get your head out of your ass and grow up.” 

“MJ, I--”

“Peter, I’m serious. Whatever it is your dealing with, you’ve got to sort that shit out. You’ve got someone downstairs that loves you more than humanly possible, yet you’re treating him like garbage. You’ve got to fix things with him while you still have time, or you'll regret it for the rest of your life.” 

Peter sighed once more. “I know, MJ.” 

“Like I said, I know you’re in pain, and I hate that you’re hurting. I’m sorry for snapping at you, and I’m here if you ever need to talk. But I just _know_ that so many of your problems would go away if you just talk to him. Tell him what’s really wrong, whatever it is. _Please._ It hurts me to see you like this.” 

Peter nodded. “Thank you, MJ. Sometimes I need a tough love moment, and you’re the perfect person for the job.” He tried to ease the tension that he could feel through the phone, but it came off flat. 

“I’m serious, Peter. Talk to him. If not for you, then for me.” 

At that, they both said good night, leaving Peter alone to his thoughts in his bedroom once again. As he crawled into bed, he was determined to make tomorrow a better day, not just for him, but for Tony as well. 

_I’m going to fix things. I promise._

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! Once again, I am SO sorry for the wait. I try to update once a week but my school schedule has been INSANE (I am a full time college student majoring in public health during a pandemic, haha) and microbiology has been kicking my butt. I was so excited to write the Pepper and MJ interactions in this one. I actually had them planned out since the very beginning. and boy, am I SO EXCITED for the next chapter. y'all just buckle up and get ready ;). as always send me stuff on my Tumblr crimefightingironspider !! even if you just want to talk or send prompts, I would love to scream with all of you. ALSO, I'm on twitter!! my @ is SPIDEYPHANTOMS if you want to visit me there :) stay safe and healthy, and happy reading!

**Author's Note:**

> y'all, I am SO EXCITED about this story. I have it all planned out, down to the epilogue. I hope everyone is staying safe and healthy during this time! comments and kudos literally keep me going, so they are always appreciated. ALSO please feel free to scream with me at my Tumblr [ Here. ](https://crimefightingironspider.tumblr.com)


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